Just Another Empty Page In My Life

I tried to be happy for you
When I wasn't.
I pretended I understood you
When I didn't.
I said I wasn't disappointed in you
When I was.
I told you I didn't care anymore
When I did.
Now you are nothing
but A piece of trash lying under my bed
Something that will
Soon be thrown away and forgotten.
We are drifting apart
Slowly, but surely.
It's almost to the point
Where you are nothing to me.
Your just another empty page in my life.

by: Sierra
Extracted from http://www.dedications.com/poetrydetails.asp?poemid=4633

I happened to come across this page while browsing through for poetry. Read this short but expressive poetry and feel that it describes how i have been feeling recently....

200 bucks gone within a day!!..overspent..? or is this called life?

hmm...another wk passed again! yest nite reached home around 10 plus den went to bed at around 11 plus after a bath...woke up at 10.30 this morning! yawn...but still feeling sleepy...haha! haiyoyo! yest ended sch early..was released at 1 plus...den meet my mum at bugis as promised. Accompanied her to OG...she tried some clothings but din like them! actually it looked quite nice on her...but too bad..she dun like...can't force her to buy them...haha! den shop around for bags and shoes, nthg attractive captured our eyes...hehe! oya! before tat we went to eat nasi lemak...behing bugis street there...it's air-conditioned...comfortable and the food's nice! treat my mum to nasi lemak and popiah wif prawns! very delicious! especially the coconut rice! haha..FATTENING! den went to buy Lee Hom's latest album...YEAH~~!!! so happy...my mum and me like his songs alot! esp the latest ones...my fav is kiss goodbye and ai ying wei zai xin zhong and my mum's fav is hua tien cuo..haha..ya..my mum's more "in" den me lorz! den it's my mum's turn to accompany me to bugis street...yoz yoz yoz! bought 2 skirts ..so cheap manz! my mum gave me alot of opinions..thanks! den can't find any tops lehz...sian! bought 2 pair earings..very very cheap also! one was choosen by my mum..haha! den after tat went to parco bugis..was around 6 plus liddat! meet dad...shop around for awhile...den went to marina sq to have dinner. tat's also where i bought an esprit wallet for myself and an esprit hand bag for my mum!...as for my dad..i already bought him a goldlion belt liaoz..hehe! I feel tat smtimes as children, we shld try to repay back our parents by making them happy and live more comfortably! tat's y i dun feel heartpain when i spend money buying things for my parents and sis (she also buys alot of things for me!)...I have learned to love my family more coz i know they love me too! ..den treat my parents to breeks...i know i can't afford too too ex de restaurants..but i believe my parents wun mind. esp my papa..when i asked him wat he wanna eat..he suggested those average-kind of eating place...i know he's trying to save up for me...ya. oya! papa actually went to the counter to pay but i know him too well...i insisted tat i pay so i RUSHED there..haha..jus in time to pay..keke! haiyo..papa..u shld now my character well lorz..when i say i pay means i pay ok! hehe! ya..tat's how i spent my day wif my two super "in" parents! after some mental calculations..come to think of it..hmm..think i spent abt 200 plus bucks...abit overspent lehz! haiya..nvm lahz...as long as my parents and me are happy...i can always earn back the money..yea?! This is wat i called LIFE! oya...no more shopping for me till end of exam..keke! i need to save up for driving course..hey hey!

stress is coming...! =I

haiyoyo! feeling stress is coming...more project date dues are nearing...omg! especially fpqap portfolio..my greatest worry! oya! den pbpn! today had 2hrs of pbpn lec..dunno wat to say..feel like puking! so much to study...before my small delicate brain can absorb the new things covered in the lec, more newer things are thought! oh man! giv me a break! dunno how to plan my schedule...between work, study and play (as in family and frens..luckily not attached..nobody wants me..haha!) dun even have time to console my buddy ah chun when she's feeling so down jus now! i'm so sorry! but she knows my hotline is always opened for her..yea?! haiz...tell me how to have a balance life?! NO LIFE~~~~!

disappointed....! =(

today's a bad day! so disappointed over my gp's sensory evaluation during AdFS lab. i tried the formulation at home....two days ago...it tasted delicious..even my frens who tasted also thinks it's nice! who wld have predicted that the banana muffins turned out to be crumbly and do not have strong banana smell! how come?! banana not ripe enough? ingredients used is of different quality as the one i used at home?! haiz! omg! i am really very disappointed! a chef will be filled with joy if he sees the people enjoying the food he prepares and thinks it's nice! BUT a chef will be sadden and depressed if he realised tat no one is enjoying the food he prepares and thinks it tasted real bad! =(

wee! trying out my AdFS muffins formulations!!

hohoho! 2day end sch at 1pm and tmr's hari raya haji!..yeah!! hmm..actually dun feel like going home so early..wanna go shopping at bugis and marina square lehz...but nobody free..sianz! i wanna buy a pair of shoe at city link!! argh! too bad! so decided to go home early after sch..slept half-way through the journey..reached home at around 2plus. mummy cooked maggie mee for me ...ya..tat's my lunch...delicious nehz! haha! hmm..den sat down to modify the formulations...decided to try out two banana muffind formulations- one baked using self-raising flour, less sugar, milk, less egg while the other one baked using plain flour, baking powder, more eggs and sugars. den took abt 3 hrs total to try out both formulations! both turned out fine but mummy says the one wif self-raising flour tasted better wif better aroma...haha! i also think so..now have to depend on how my gpmates and frens from AFSN say abt the two formulations!! yup! here's a pic of the banana muffins i baked!

(tried to arrange them in a presentable and artistic way..but too bad! failure! oops! sorry! i'm no gd at photography!!)

ya..nice! nice! nv bluff u! haha! hmm..den had dinner...omg..hate to eat rice! no choice! papa bought dinner and he loves to buy rice for us..ahem! den after dinner..jus nice..campus superstar started showing..i luv watching tat though i feel the contestants are abit childish lahz..(oops! sorry!..secondary sch students only mahz..still cute cute chubby chubby!) but some really got great potential ok! hmm..honest speaking, i dun quite approve the media of organizing such competition directed to students who are still very young and are still schooling! it's still not very practical in S'pore...hmm..well purhaps in a few yrs time the local education sys may allow students to drop out of sch at a very young age and pursue their dream of becoming a SUPERSTAR! lolx...well..haha! hmm...i used to dream of forming a band wif my close buddies or becoming an all-rounded singer! ahaha! i used to "DREAM"..get tat?! =D

start of year 2006 but end of term break!! argh! ...extracted from [spinklinko] Jan 02, 2006 6.31 PM

extracted from [spinklinko] Jan 02, 2006 6.31 PM

aiyoyo! been searching for the whole afternoon for mp3 songs for my mummy and also for myself..keke! recorded into my mp3 player...though not very clear...but still ok lahz. hmm..i am a multi-task-able person..hehe..so while searching for songs, i am doing fpr at the same time...hope vanessa will not kill me for this...haha! aiyo wo de ma ya! the term break has not been long enough to be a BREAK!! have not got enough sleep also..ok..i confess...i did quite alot of shopping during this term break..but come to think of it...not alot also! i jus wanna settle my CNY clothings and relax a bit coz i know i wun have time for tat when the term starts. to prepare for the long and stressful term ahead, it is a must to take some time for relaxation and enjoyment...haha! ya...went shopping wif karen my loa po at marina square. quite a nice place to shop though there's still alot of vacant shops. but the sales gals there not very "service-friendly". karen and me saw one incident whereby the sales person actually tried to force two female teenagers to buy the clothings they had tried..omg! should send them to sm kind of service training schs! hmm..oya! so happy on tat day(sat) coz i bought an ebase top cum skirt kind of top...whereby i can wear it wif a tight jeans...hehe! den bought a U2 jeans at citylink..finally! i hate to buy jeans coz it's hard to buy a nice and suitable one! hmm...den ate pastamania AGAIN..at bugis!! oh man! think it will be quite long be4 i eat creamy chicken again..lolx! hmm..but sad tat i was not able to buy a nice, suitable and comfortable pair of shoe...very difficult! mb coz i'm also quite fussy! keke! hmm...den din went count down coz i dun like to be squeezed in public transport! count down party to me is not very important coz in my heart, i am already looking forward to the new year and celebrating that moment is only an "Add-on"...quite hard to understand wat i'm trying to say..ok..hmm..in short, i am not interested in countdown parties! haha! mb not now ba...perhaps in future when my close frens and i are also not schooling anymore...den mb will be more excited over such events! tat's hw i spent my last day of yr 2005. haiya...so nw have to be back to sch work! tmr will be the start of the new term..haiz...loads of incomplete project reports on hand! oh my goodness! haiz..i always comfort myself by telling myself.."take it as a challenge!!" yea! haha! tmr there's fpqap lab!! gg to have an interview...wah sian arh! have to face tat evil ******! hohoho! hope the new term will have a smooth start! Lucky LUCKY! oya! aza aza fighting fighting! =X

I luv pastamania's creamy chicken..! thumbs up..! ..extracted from [spinklinko] Dec 30, 2005 12.02 PM

extracted from [spinklinko] Dec 30, 2005 12.02 PM

hohoho! came back from bishan abt 2hrs ago! hmm..still feeling so full! but very thirsty! dunno y? cld it be the creamy chicken which i ate jus now? hmm..2day after OSH seminar, i rang hann zai's hp to tell him i'm not going kbox liaoz since chun's having sore throat and we feel it's quite expensive! decided to save up for next time when most of the "RS gang" are free which wld be more fun! so sorry, hann zai, for disappointing u agian..i always break my promise...oops! sorry! hmm..den i decided to meet chun for dinner at bishan since we long time nv meet liaoz..den she was in malaysia on her bday...was not able to celebrate 4 her and..oya! owe her a bday and christmas present! so decided to ask her out for dinner! she's sick so i dun want her to travel all the way to town..so decided that bishan wld be a gd place to eat and shop! unfortunately, the bus which i took for the first time, took a very long route! it was partly becoz i alighted at the wrong bus stop! too long to explain! in short, i made chun waited for me for nearly 2hrs! poor gal! she was waiting at the control station alone for 2 hrs! haiyo! i'm so sorry! the worse thing was tat she nv complain, scold me or bash me up! if i were her, i wld have gotten hm plus servere ties wif tat person! haha! she's is jus so nice! seldom c her vent her anger de! haiyo..wonder y she's still single..ahem! ok...den reached bishan at around 8pm...decided to have dinner at pastamania! as usual..she's is ok wif anything..haiyo! den she ordered chicken bolognese sphagetti while i had creamy chicken lingunine! crazy me! been having tat recently! time to start dieting! hmm...den chatted alot..she listen to my problems while i listen to hers....we always enjoy chatting wif each other! i really think tat frens play a very important and essential role in my life! tat's y i always treasure my gp of buddies! luv them lotsa! hmm...den reached hm at around 10.30pm..as usual, remove make-up, bath and change, go online check mail and do assignments! blog! yawn....kk...think i will blog till here....feeling sleepy liaoz... tmr will be the last day of 2005! not working..dunno if going to count down or not..c how first ba! hmm...2005 has not been a very gd year to me...many unhappy things have happened...it is also a year where there are many changes in me n my life! really wished that next yr will be a much better and happening year! 2006, i'm coming~! hahaz!

wat a problematic world...! ...extracted from [spinklinko] Dec 29, 2005 12.16 PM

extracted from [spinklinko] Dec 29, 2005 12.16 PM

haiyo...reached home abt 2 hrs ago...had my dinner cum supper and hot bath liaoz! yawn...feeling sleepy..as usual! today went to work...hmm..2day's quite an enjoyable day! worked wif "ah ma" the forever nice and jovious brother, and judy, the stressful big sister! siew may and may off...hehe..dunno y...feels happy they are not around..keke! haiyo....judy was complaining ..mb i shldn't use the word complain...shld be more of "letting off" baz! she was telling me the two "princesses" have been bickering at each other behind her back..tat was wat she heard from other brands' promoters. haiya..actually honest speaking, the two will never work well together unless they are honest with each other. but who wld want to be the first to raise the matter? we are all humans! nobody wld want to be the "bad person"..rite?! i have worked longer wif siew may than with judy and may. though it's only 3 mnths, i know siew may's character very well. she kind of like to speak ill of others or gossip abt others...smtimes too sharp at her words...at times, i also can't stand her! but i jus kept quiet unless it's really too much lahz..den mb i will jus talk back jokingly to avoid unnecessary disputes! if not, i will jus walk off and stay silent for a long time...hehe! my close frens will know! hmm...den may?..i dunno her well coz only worked wof her for less than a mth..but i feel tat she likes to complain alot...like.."my foot aches lahz"..."headache lahz"...all sorts of complains! she has been in retail line for so many years and yet she is still complaining...as if she has not got used to such long hrs of standing?! come on! i really pity judy...it is very difficult to work in an environment where both partners are not cooperating and working togather as one! wat's worse! both "hate" each other! my only advise to judy is to carry on wif her work...and dun get troubled and stressed over tat 2 princesses..let them settle between themselves..! ..ya...so i worked till 9.30pm..went off togather wif judy...den reached hm lorz! tat's how i spent my day..oya...tmr there's a OSH seminar from 2-5pm! sian! den after tat still have quiz..haiyo!! oya! hann zai called me jus now asking if wanna go kbox tmr after my seminar and he will be booking out at 4pm. fine wif me but a bit ex lehz...so i called chun...she also say it's abit ex tmr...so guess we will c how...mb meeting for dinner at town ba! hope tmr will be another happening day! yawn...gonna go zzz liaoz...good nitez!

Soo..brain-torturing!! ...extracted from [spinklinko] Dec 28, 2005 1.25pm

extracted from [spinklinko] Dec 28, 2005, 1.25pm

haiya...today went back to sch to discuss csas3 project again! have to travel 2hrs back to tp...as usual, i slept throughout the journey...hehe! oya! almost forget, i overslept this morning despite setting 2 alarm clocks--my hp and the normal jackpot-look-alike alarm clock. this shows how piggy i am! hey hey! in the end, i was still the earliest to reach...reached sch at around 11.20am. Can't figure out y i was still the earliest among my groupmates...haha! hmm..oya..bought a chicken pau from tampanies interchange. this is only my second time buying food from there. haiyo! guess wat! i dunno who tat young man who was serving at the counter was. he is a chinese who dun understand chinese...sm kind of ABC?! when i placed my order in chinese, he responed "huh?..wat?" ok...i assumed he dun understand chinese. but the funny thing is tat he was able to ask me "wat pau?..dao sa pau, cai pau?.." haha...he dunno how to speak chinese but knows how to pronounce "dao sa, cai"..come on! dun act ABC k! he looks fit and handsome..like those kind of beach boys, but i deduct all his marks becoz he doesn't knows how to speack simple chinese! omg! ok..anyway, reached sch...we were quite productive today. managed to finish almost the whole report...we all divided the work and did the different parts in the com lab. i think credits shld go to ryan coz he's doing the most complicated and time-consuming part. that is the data presentation and findings part...xin ku le! vanessa also think and think alot..think she killed quite alot of her brain cells today...haiyo! hmm..as the report is near to completion, all of us was feeling hungry. we went to the nearest food place, FLAVOURS. woosh~! really stinks! nvm...at least today the curry chicken i ordered tasted quite nice. den we ate...after tat, we continued to chat. den belinda suggested tat we go shopping at city sq at JB! cool! i luv shopping! we all need to shop for CNY clothings! we wanted to set it on fri but becoz of that stupid OSH seminar from 2-5pm on fri, we can't go as it will be too late. so we decided to go on mon instead! we called our other classmates and the response was not bad..so roughly abt 7 ppl will be going! yeah! They will be meeting me at woodlands custom which is so so so near to my house! hehehe! aiyer..so excited!

kk...den reached hm today at around 5plus..so tired..sleepy as usual! but i din nap today..went online find midi files, watch MV...dunno y suddenly have the urge to search for MVs! haha! den around 8 plus..started doing my CSAS3 and FPr project. finished CSAS3 and did sm FPr, but really tak boleh tahan liaoz...so i decided to blog which i am doing nw, be4 i go to sleep and planning to finish up by tmr after work when i reached hm. haiya..tmr will be working...no work no money! so if want money to spend, den work lorz!! haha! hope tmr everything will be smooth and easy at work!

A New Beginning....

my on my..! it's been a long time since i last blogged in my multiply account...guess i gonna do my blogging here from this moment onwards...yea! okay...it's the start of my new blog account! i hope it is another new begginning of my life...away from the scheming and cruel world out there. i have decided, this zone will only be accessible to complete strangers and very very close frens ONLY! becoz they are the ones who either know me very very well or dunno me at all...haha!

okay...to begin well...let me set some life-long resolutions:

1. Be more focused in what eva i do, especially in my studies.
2. Live in my own world, not minding others' business to keep myself protected from being hurt. ( BUT this does not apply to my close buddies! n also to the helpless elderly!)
3. Do wat eva i wanna do, no restrictions by the age of 18 years old (2 more months!!) .
4. Live with my heart, Learn with my heart, Listen to my heart...ALL THE TIME.
5. Be mean, be cold-blooded, be a ruthless devil to protect myself.
6. Fight for my right.
7. Be MYSELF.
8. Be opptmistic.
9. Be active in sports i like.
10. Go backpack travelling with fun-loving friends.

yup! i'm gonna live with these resoulutions! this is a promise i made to myself! yes..i will! all the way, steph! aza aza fighting fighting!